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Here There Be Monsters by Rick Buchanan

When Sam Martinez finds himself abducted by aliens, he thought he was having a bad day. When he finds himself in charge of an eccentric collection of fellow captives on a stolen spaceship, he realizes it could always get worse. Thus begins the misadventures of Captain Martinez and the crew of the starship Schwarzenegger. Intent on finding their way back to Earth, they encounter strange new worlds, new life and new civilizations… and immediately piss them off. Follow their journey as they navigate through bizarre alien customs, evade a crime syndicate with a score to settle, and match wits with a galactic government that refuses to recognize humanity as a sentient species. Fans of Galaxy Quest and The Orville will love this story of a ragtag band of misfits, discovering just how strange the universe really is.
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